| Wendy's profileA space for your SoulPhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
A space for your SoulMay 17 Talking about 時間跟諒解
Quote 時間跟諒解 May 12 秘密秘密 作詞：陳子鴻 作曲：陳子鴻 好想告訴你 這熟悉的雨季 最適合在深夜想你 想你溫柔眼睛 想你專注神情 想念你甜言蜜語 好想問問你 今天的心情 才想起你早已遠離 卻又發現自己 仍活在回憶裡 以為身旁還有你 如果這一生我們愛不夠 來生你千萬認得我 如果這一生我給得不夠 來生給你所有的我 就把你深深藏在我心中 一輩子再也不對別人說 說我曾經愛過你 我曾經對你笑過哭過 就把你深深藏在我心中 一輩子再也不對別人說 就算他日再相遇 也笑著與你擦肩而過 May 09 SisterhoodGrowing up with 3 sisters was sure lots of fun and also lots of arguing. Girls don't physically fight but we argue A LOT about every single little pity matters through out our childhood. We argue about clothes, food and which barbie dolls we want to play with..etc.
I didn't exactly start appreciating having sisters until my 20s, more and more after I am in my 30s now. As we grow older, we learn to appreciate each other more and realize the importance of family as we age. On top of everything else, it is cool to always have someone to go to the spa with and to shop with. You can be completely honest and complain how your shopping buddy is taking a little too long or walk into any store you like without hestitation.
Sisters are even more handy when it comes to crsis in life. They don't judge you like most others, but always are on your side with 100% support and love. What's always more precious is the support during tough times than a superficial congrats on great news from anyone.
People are GREAT with good news and mostly having a hard time when the unfortunate event happened.
One of my sisters is going through a very difficult time in life right now. It was truely a series of unfortunate events. I am glad that we are all there for her and support her 100%. Of course she probably had done things wrong too but family forgive and accept. Family understand and reach with open arms.
I know one of them cried with the other one every night. She probably did not know what else to show support but shed tears with her.
It breaks my heart to see how she has to suffer just because she involves herself in an "organization" where people judge, talk and places blames on matters that's not their business. It breaks my heart to see how some peple are being so "human" to walk away in order to avoid troubles. It breaks my heart to see how someone she once really cares for betray her and not reach out his hand to help. It breaks my heart to see someone who i once saw as a family hurt us.
I often hestitate about involving myself in any type of "organization" or "group". Does it really serve as a support system? Or it serves as a "burden" when it comes to the time of hardship? (instead of getting the proper support, one has to worry about what others think and how to defend oneself) I think it is certainly nice to have one but I say the best support system one can have is family, then a few very good friends (good quality ones) who will be there for you no matter what. That's fairly enough in my opinion. After going through this whole thing, it makes me question about certain matters which I never really though about in the past.
I am glad that there were a few who were willing to step up and show support to her within the group. I will pray to Budda for her and hope she can get through and start living a happy life again. I will also pray for J and wish that he can put down all the anger and live a happy life again too. I believe he has a good side in him. It is not the time to go over who is at the fault, right or wrong, just or unjust. It is the time to move on and leave the best memories in each other's heart.
I am really grateful to have my family, my husband and my two boys who are always there for me.
I am really grateful to have my best-friends who I know for sure they will be there to support me, trust me and side with me on any matter.
I am really grateful to have lots and lots of wonderful students who I know will be there to listen and support me when I need.
May 06 Dangerous WeaponWhat's the most dangerous weapon in this world? Atomic bomb? Bio-chemical war?
I say is the evil within human nature which leads to harm and suffering of others due to hatred, jealousy and selfishness.
I apologize for being a little negative on the blog lately. It is mainly because of a lot of unfortunate things happened to people I really care and love. It hurts me and upsets me so much that I can barely concentrate on living a normal life.
I read the most digusting, nasty, evil, twisting and untruthful blog today. Slandering is the most powerful weapon one can use against another person. The blog is written in a very detailed, carefullly twisted, hurtful and intentional way. It presets its readers and targets toward the mentality of his readers. The purpose is to destroy the person he hates by slandering every single bit of her. You would think the world defines the victim clearly but no. You would think everyone (especially people with spiritual beliefs) would be rational and clear-minded enough to distinguish between right and wrong. You would think there is justice toward the end of this whole thing.. or toward the end of every single piece tragedy in this world.
(Targeting its reader: People who are religious by converting himself to the religion over night in the process of writing the blog, claiming and using God's name for lots of things)
Man I would think in general people only publish blogs / articles like that on celebrities. I often would read and laugh about it afterward... but I can't when it is about someone I know.
NO.. not everything turns out to be as we think it "should" be. I was once told to use the word "should" with caution. I have come to the realization that no one "should" do anything or "should" feel certain ways or "should" stand up for any other human being in this planet.
I always think blog is a great way for one to express his/her feeling. I never really thought of blogging as a powerful and dangerous weapon one can use other than knife, gun or physical violence. It is as terrible as any of those other weapon used to harm others.
I was mindless for the whole day after reading the horrifying blog. How can anyone with a heart and soul do this to another person, not to mention this person is someone who he once cared and loved.
Interent has been going out of control honestly nowadays in the modern society. Honestly you can find ANYTHING and view ANTYHING you wish to see on-line. The school has to constantly has a updated list of sites to block on daily basis just to prevent young folks from doing or viewing anything inappropriate on the interent.
Internet has brought us lots of benefits but also lots of disaters.
When you want to kill a person, there is no need to bring a gun and shoot her / him in the face.
All you need to do is to use the most dangerous weapon on earth. Living hell can be worse than resting in peace sometimes in cases.
I can't wish for anything at this point. I just hope the real friends and wise people can make the correct judgement calls and support each other through the blogging crsis.
May 02 Only Time Can...Time is the best medicine of everything.
I consider myself as a very very impatient person. I can not wait for a lot of things, and often lacking the essential patience to resolve matters. It is indeed hard for me to appreciate that fact that Time is the best medicine and solution of a lot of matters on our hands.
Only Time can heal any type of wound.
Only Time can lead us to see how a baby grow into a teen, then an adult.
Only Time can teach us the true form of a person. The minimum time is 3 years I would say.
Only Time can make us realize who are the true friends in life
Only Time can provide the answer of a lot of our questions.
Only Time can let us see the beauty of a flower from a tiny little seed
Only Time can....
Dedicated to my beloved beautiful sister:
Time will heal the wound and lead you to a new path in life
Time will provide you the answers to your path toward true happiness of yours
Time will reveal your Mr. Right, he should be the one riding the white horse to save you from all the pain
Time will bring us back to peace
Time has brought us all closer together day after day
April 30 Happy Birthday MomDear Mom
Happy 60th birthday!
You are really the one of the kind type of mom.
Thanks for letting me eat as much junk food as I wished through out my teen years.
Thanks for ignoring all my dramas through out my childhood so I can move on with life.
Thanks for washing my clothes for years after years
Thanks for cooking my food for years after years...
Thanks for doing my homework for me once a while when I was really tired...
Thanks for altering my pants and dresses for me..
Thanks for walking me through motherhood...
Thanks for being my math teacher through out my entire student career...
You are one of the few women I know who NEVER put any make up on the face...
You are one of the few women I know how NEVER really cares how her hair looks...
You are one of the few women I know who does not nag her husband
You are one of the few women I know who does not nag her daughter(s)
You are one of the few women I know who does not buy new clothes ever
You are one of the few women I know who never cares for even ONE nice purse in life
You are awesome
Happy birthday to you
Lying underneath the truth of loving someoneDoes everyone get to find the person in life who will stand by your side no matter what happened? Besides family, what is the odd to find the special kind of friendship? What's the odd to find the true love who will not leave your side NO MATTER what happend?
It is probably more likely to have a friend or two who you can really trust, rely on and present through your good times and bad times.
One can spend the whole love and never will meet person who will be there with you no matter what.
Spouses don't always stick around when life is tough... Spouses don't always stick around when the other misbehave.. Spouses sometimes just simply have a change of heart and leave the other one heart-broken. Divorce is as common as people having a broken car... as common as a common cold.. as common as losing money from gambling...
It often breaks my heart to see how one leaves because of he/she is unable to get through the tough times with the other. When life is not easy and comfortable, one finds another way out .
I have seen enough in the past 30 something years.
I knew many men who betrayed their family and find someone else on the side.
I knew someone who left his girl-friend when her family become poor and he could no longer hang around the big nice house.
I knew someone who left his girl-friend after weighing his own saftey into account and finding an easy way out without troubles.
I knew many individuals who are controlled by their rich parents and choose to give up love and rather be a heart-breaker but keeping the source of money.
I knew women who left their husbands when they lost their job and got no money in the bank account.
I knew many individuals who changed his/her attitude toward another once he/ she found out there is no possible future down the road. It is scary how one can stop treating the other with love but coldness...
If life is always smooth and comfortable, it is possible that one will never find a chance to know how your special someone will react during the course of "crsis"... Is that considered as being lucky to never find out? Is that considered as being lucky to encounter an opportunity to find out what's lying underneath?
I wish I never have to find out what's lying underneath...
Sometimes it is too scary to be given a task with unknown outcome... people are just not predictable in the course of criss in life.
However, I pity those ones who never takes challenges and refuses to confront any road block in the journey of loving another person... on the road of pursuing happiness. It often breaks my heart to see things like that happened.
I suppose I am writing it for how my unfortunate prediction of dark human nature came true again. It saddens me. I often wish I am WRONG... I believe two people who are in love should stick together no matter what and confront the challenges ahead to make it happen.
I wouldn't be where I am today if I gave up on believing in love. I wouldn't be holding my two cutie pies in my arm.
April 18 Where to start and how to endIt is very difficult for me to start writing this whole thing... and there will be no conclusion, no ending and no closure for it.
It probably started as a beautiful romance between two teens who did not know better what's real love and what's right and wrong. Then what happened? There are probably a lot of beautiful and sweet romances among young folks which lead to many different endings... good and bad.. sad and happy... even life and death.
Something happened to someone that I am really really close to and it really shocked me. It makes me feel angry, sad, sympathetic, disappointed, hopeless, scared and stressed out. It is very difficult to believe how someone who is almost like a family member can turn around and become a brutal killer type of person. This person can turn around and harm your family when he was once treated as part of the family.
Of course he can not take all the blames. There is always causes which lead to the consequences. Relationship karma can result into threat, hatred, tragedies or even death sometimes. Not everyone can live and look at things with optimistic, forgiving, understanding and kind heart. Not everyone can take time to reflect upon the past, the causes and appreciate all the good things instead of the bad. Not everyone has something to believe in, someone to support her/him unconditionally, a family with lots of love, a life with purposes and goals and most importantly a childhood with proper parenting and role modeling. People make mistakes and extend their mistakes to their offsprings... people make mistakes and have their loved ones suffered from it.
There is always another way out with everything in this world. One can push himself/ herself to the dead end and suffer for the rest of his/her life. One can turn around and look on the bright side, then perhaps move on to a better or worse life.
Who wasn't once treated unfairly? Who wasn't once cheated by someone she/ he cared for? Who wasn't once heart-broken? Who wasn't once lost his/her mind and did irrational things? Who wasn't once loved or not loved?
It is sad to see how one can end up in the deepest black hole, the worst place in this world. It is sad to think the pain that he must have gone through. At the same time, it is only fair to obey and go by the justice system of the norm. it is only fair that everyone should have the right to be protected from harm and fear. It is only fair for the one who does harms to others to be punished.
I can't help it but feeling extremely sad.
I can't help but wishing things could have been handled differently and peacefully. I can't help but wishing that everyone can be happy and fear free. I can't help but wishing that we can go back to the first chapter of the book and rewrite the whole story all over again.
You can only pray and pray and pray... oh yeah, is that all we can do? Will that really make things better? How can God or Budda reach the darkest side of the human nature? Sometimes I feel that they are often approached and felt by the good people instead of the other way around... When it was already the way it is since day 1... when it had always been in the dark without any blessing and prayers... And Yes, we need to always have faith right? And yes, we need to believe that the tomorrow will always be better when we wake up with our faith in whichever supeior being that one chooses to believe in?
I sincerely hope his suffering end inside his heart. I hope he can forget about all the hatred and forgive. I hope he can move on with his life and find his true happiness one day in the future.
This whole passage might make no sense to you, but it is okay.
January 30 Being upfront and honestSometimes I really wish everyone around me can be upfront and honest.
I realize that even close friends can't do that at all times. Wouldn't it be nice if there is always an answer when there is a question? When one does not need to consider the consequences of answering the questions or the consequences of the other party taking the answers. It becomes more difficult to carry a nice and joyful conversation with others. People gradually rely more and more on the internet to communicate. It is apparently easier to ignore and choose what certain people wish to answer and talk about.
It bothers me a lot when people avoid or ignore on purpose. I figure i am too confrontational at times and it might not be the best thing to do. Sometimes it is probably necessary for smart people to do that in order to avoid any type of misunderstanding, conflicts and argument.
I appreciate those ones who are always honest and upfront. They have no problem answering questions because they have nothing to hide. They have no problem talking about anything because they are confident with it. They have no problem listening because others know that they will not be judgemental.
People are just too afraid to be judged or to show their weakness.
A lot of times that before I realize, I am already judged and showed my weakness by not being careful of what I said or wrote.
January 24 remarkable questionSomeone asked me a remarkable question yesterday at dinner.
"Don't you think teachers are over-paid?" (of course this some what friend knows what I do for living)
There are times that people make remarkable comments that I just can't let go for years after years. The last one was about 3 years ago before I was getting married from a laywer.
"Stay home mothers are non-productive member of the soceity" (I wrote an blog entry about it though) I was already furious with the fact that I didn't have any kid at that time and perhaps had no idea what stay home moms do. I still hold respect for women who chose to devote their time to their own children.
Some people might perceive teacher as an easy job and some have the perception of teachers must not have money. So if someone thinks teachers are over-paid, it is even worse compared to those ones who think teachers are poor. It is okay to be poor but it is not okay to lose respect for being who he/she is. A lot of teachers consider themselve to be under-paid with the amount of time and energy we devote to our job. Our job does not end when we step out of the classroom, and it does not begin when the bell rings. Our job does not measure up to how much time and devotion we are giving to our students.
We do not get a raise or commision when our students are doing very well. We do not get paid during summer and people like to "wow" about how we have 2 month vacation of the year. ( In some countries, teachers do get paid during summer, but not in U.S)
On our "over-paid" scale, the maximum amount we can make after 30 years is probably just 70,000. It is like after devoting your whole life to the career. I can name many careers that makes more than 70,000 during the first two years.
I like to respect the difference of opinions among friends or among different people. I dislike any type of negative confrontation people have just because they are holding different opinion toward certain issues. However, it is different when it gets personal and when someone is NOT thinking through the issue.
So, let's say if this person end up having his/her own children. What kind of educators will he/she expect to teach his/her children? Someone who is over-paid and someone who is worth getting paid as much as a blue collar worker? Someone who did not take times to study about the best ways to educate children? Someone who is qualified?
Then the person with the remarkable question goes "Don't you just need a bachelor degree to be a teacher?"
I guess there is no need to explain the answer to this question because if anybody can jump in the classroom and teach... then what's the future of our children in this era?
January 21 Broken Hearted folksMost people probably break someone's heart in the course of his/her life. Most people probably got their heart broken too by someone else as well. It is not the greatest feeling in the world.. but we probably all have to go through it.
Recently found out that this guy that was heart-broken by me years ago is happily married. I was once really worried about him... but I realize that everyone all eventually move on. I have heard many stories of others have proved that no one is going to be forever heart-broken.
When I was young, I used to believe in the type of love which can be given to only one person in life. Once you really love this person, you can never love again. No one else is able to make you feel the same way? Honestly I still somewhat believe it in a sense. There is just this ONE PERSON you once loved or you still love who can make you feel the "special way". Perhaps there are many different types of love, and not everyone is going to married into the same kind of love... but it is all "love".
When I was young, I used to hear phrases like “I will never love someone else the same way I love you". Someone used to tell me that "you will be forever loved"... sounded really romantic but I think it has become "I am forever hated" toward the end. Some people turn past love into memories, some turn past love into resentment, and some turn past love into regret or even revenge. How long can one stay heart-broken? Some probably move on quickly and find his/her new love... some probably mourn and upset for a longer period and move on eventually... is there really someone out there who will stay heart-broken for the rest of his/her life and never can love again? I often wonder about that.
January 05 Thought I can't love them the sameWhen I found out that I was pregnant again, I was deeply worried that I couldn't love another baby / child the same way I love Scott. I was even more worried when we found out it's a boy again. I remember calling Wells in the hall way outside of the doc's office, and he was like "OH..... (with a very disappointed tone), does that mean I will not have a daughter in my life?" I was furious and yelled back at him... however, at that same time, I also knew how disappointed I was myself.. probably not less than him with the fact that I know most men would want a daughter running to them and say "Daddy, I love you".. it is always different than having a boy.
When I first had Timmy in my arm, I did not feel the same way as I first had Scott. I took care of him as a newborn like I was supposed to as a mother. I nursed him whenever he cried... and I hold him so he does not scream and wake up everybody. Everyone seems to be very indifferent about his existance.. I am referring to EVERYONE in my family and Wells' family. Everyone still pays most attention to Scott. He does not get gifts like what Scott used to get, and he does not get all the visits from friends and relatives like what Scott had. I even felt that I was stuck with Timmy 24/7 and rarely anyone wants to take turns caring for him. I told myself that it is perfectly normal to feel that way, because I remember wanting to push Scott back to my uterus after he was born. I was so stressed facing a crying baby at all time and unable to sleep. I don't have too much problems with caring for an infant but I still kept wondering if I can love him the same.
I feel that having a 2nd son feels extra for a man especially. Wells shows a huge difference in terms of his attitude toward Timmy compared to Scott. Because of that, I told myself that I have to give Timmothy more love because he does not get the same from his daddy.
As Timmy grows older... he is now 2 and half month... I feel more and more thankful about having my 2nd boy. He is so adorable... like a mini Wells with beautiful huge eyes. My love for him grows more and more as days go by. I guess babies get more adorable as they can smile at you.... I also feel very sad that I have to return to work very soon next month... I stayed home with Scott for his first 8 month in life but I am unable to do the same for Timmy.
 I can't wait for Scott and Timmy to play together. They can be best-friends, best-buddy, and best playmate.
December 12 The Little Match Girl StoryThe Little Match Girl It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark. Evening came on, the last evening of the year. In the cold and gloom a poor little girl, bareheaded and barefoot, was walking through the streets. Of course when she had left her house she'd had slippers on, but what good had they been? They were very big slippers, way too big for her, for they belonged to her mother. The little girl had lost them running across the road, where two carriages had rattled by terribly fast. One slipper she'd not been able to find again, and a boy had run off with the other, saying he could use it very well as a cradle some day when he had children of his own. And so the little girl walked on her naked feet, which were quite red and blue with the cold. In an old apron she carried several packages of matches, and she held a box of them in her hand. No one had bought any from her all day long, and no one had given her a cent. Shivering with cold and hunger, she crept along, a picture of misery, poor little girl! The snowflakes fell on her long fair hair, which hung in pretty curls over her neck. In all the windows lights were shining, and there was a wonderful smell of roast goose, for it was New Year's eve. Yes, she thought of that! In a corner formed by two houses, one of which projected farther out into the street than the other, she sat down and drew up her little feet under her. She was getting colder and colder, but did not dare to go home, for she had sold no matches, nor earned a single cent, and her father would surely beat her. Besides, it was cold at home, for they had nothing over them but a roof through which the wind whistled even though the biggest cracks had been stuffed with straw and rags. Her hands were almost dead with cold. Oh, how much one little match might warm her! If she could only take one from the box and rub it against the wall and warm her hands. She drew one out. R-r-ratch! How it sputtered and burned! It made a warm, bright flame, like a little candle, as she held her hands over it; but it gave a strange light! It really seemed to the little girl as if she were sitting before a great iron stove with shining brass knobs and a brass cover. How wonderfully the fire burned! How comfortable it was! The youngster stretched out her feet to warm them too; then the little flame went out, the stove vanished, and she had only the remains of the burnt match in her hand. She struck another match against the wall. It burned brightly, and when the light fell upon the wall it became transparent like a thin veil, and she could see through it into a room. On the table a snow-white cloth was spread, and on it stood a shining dinner service. The roast goose steamed gloriously, stuffed with apples and prunes. And what was still better, the goose jumped down from the dish and waddled along the floor with a knife and fork in its breast, right over to the little girl. Then the match went out, and she could see only the thick, cold wall. She lighted another match. Then she was sitting under the most beautiful Christmas tree. It was much larger and much more beautiful than the one she had seen last Christmas through the glass door at the rich merchant's home. Thousands of candles burned on the green branches, and colored pictures like those in the printshops looked down at her. The little girl reached both her hands toward them. Then the match went out. But the Christmas lights mounted higher. She saw them now as bright stars in the sky. One of them fell down, forming a long line of fire. "Now someone is dying," thought the little girl, for her old grandmother, the only person who had loved her, and who was now dead, had told her that when a star fell down a soul went up to God. She rubbed another match against the wall. It became bright again, and in the glow the old grandmother stood clear and shining, kind and lovely. "Grandmother!" cried the child. "Oh, take me with you! I know you will disappear when the match is burned out. You will vanish like the warm stove, the wonderful roast goose and the beautiful big Christmas tree!" And she quickly struck the whole bundle of matches, for she wished to keep her grandmother with her. And the matches burned with such a glow that it became brighter than daylight. Grandmother had never been so grand and beautiful. She took the little girl in her arms, and both of them flew in brightness and joy above the earth, very, very high, and up there was neither cold, nor hunger, nor fear-they were with God. But in the corner, leaning against the wall, sat the little girl with red cheeks and smiling mouth, frozen to death on the last evening of the old year. The New Year's sun rose upon a little pathetic figure. The child sat there, stiff and cold, holding the matches, of which one bundle was almost burned. "She wanted to warm herself," the people said. No one imagined what beautiful things she had seen, and how happily she had gone with her old grandmother into the bright New Year.
賣火柴的小女孩 聖誕節前夕。 天氣真冷，還下著雪，刮著北風。 有位失去母親的小女孩，為了養活生病的爸爸，冒著風雪去賣火柴。 “火柴，誰要火柴。” 她沒有棉衣，穿著一條舊裙子，頭上圍著一條破頭巾，腳上穿著一雙拖鞋。她沿街叫賣，可是沒有一個人理好。 人們都在準備聖誕禮物，高高興興，歡歡喜喜，小姑娘多可憐啊！她有許多火柴，全部都包在一個舊圍裙裡，手裡拿著幾根。 已經中午了，她一根火柴也沒賣掉。她又餓又凍地向前走，雪花落在金黃的長發上。她走到一幢樓房的窗前，朝裡張望。啊！屋裡那棵聖誕樹多漂亮啊，一位母親正和兩個孩子在玩耍，那孩子該多幸福啊，桌子上還點著許多彩色的蠟燭，有紅的、黃的、綠的、白的，她最喜歡那些紅色的蠟燭，在桌上格外顯眼。 看到這裡，小女孩想起了她的祖母和媽媽，她們最疼愛她，可是，她們都去世了，想著想著，小女孩哭了。 哭著哭著，她又走上了大街，突然，“轟隆”一聲，一輛馬車經過，差一點將她撞倒。 馬車飛一樣跑過去了，小女孩的身上沾滿了泥水，而且拖鞋也丟了，她只好赤著腳，在雪地裡喊著： “火柴，誰要火柴。” 夜幕已經降臨，小女孩的腳已凍得發紅髮青。大街上到處都是烤鵝肉的香味。 “啊，有錢的人家準備過節了。” 她實在走不動了，疲乏地縮在一個牆角裡。她不敢回家，因為她沒有賣掉一根火柴。家裡而且也很冷，風可以從許多地方刮進屋子裡來。 她凍得發抖，她需要溫暖，哪怕有一根火柴的光和熱也好。 她的一雙小手幾乎凍僵了。太冷了。她決定劃著一根火柴，讓它燃燒。 “哧！”火柴燃燒了，象一雜溫暖、光明的火燄，小女孩覺得象坐在火爐旁一樣。火燒得那麼歡，那麼暖，那麼美！這是怎麼回事呢？當小女孩剛剛伸出她一雙腳，打算暖和一下時，火燄忽然熄滅了。火爐也不見了。她坐在那兒，手中只有燒過的火柴。 她又劃了一根火柴，火柴燃燒起來，發出了光。 牆上有亮光照著的那塊地方突然變得透明，象一片薄紗，她可以看到房間裡的東西，有餡餅，有烤鵝，更有趣是的，這只烤鵝從盤子裡跳出來了，它的背上插著刀叉，正在地上走著呢，一直向小女孩走過來。她伸出手去，火柴又熄滅了，她摸到的是冰冷的牆壁。 她又劃了一根火柴，火柴燃燒起來，變成一朵粉紅色的光燄。 她發現自己坐在一棵美麗的聖誕樹下，比中午見到的那棵聖誕樹還要大，還要美麗。它的樹枝上有幾千隻蠟燭。小女孩把雙手伸過去，火柴又熄滅了。幾千隻蠟燭都變成了明亮的星星。這些星星中有一顆落下來，在天空中劃出一條長長的亮光。 她又劃了一根火柴。 啊，火光中出現了她日日夜夜思念的老祖母，她撲進老祖母的懷抱。 “祖母！”小女孩叫起來。“請把我帶走吧！帶到那沒有寒冷，沒有飢餓的地方。我知道，這根火柴一熄滅，你就會不見了。就像那溫暖的火爐，那美麗的烤鵝，那幸福的聖誕樹一樣，我什麼也看不見了。” 於是，小女孩把剩下的火柴全劃著了，因為她非常想把祖母留住。 火柴發出更加強烈的光芒，照得周圍比白天還要明亮，祖母是那樣慈祥，她把小女孩抱起來了，她們在光明和幸福中飛走了。越飛越高，真的到了沒有寒冷，沒有飢餓的地方。 新年的早晨，人們看到小女孩仍坐在牆角裡，她雙頰通紅，臉上帶著幸福的微笑。可是，她已經死了，凍死在聖誕節的夜晚，她手裡仍握著一把燒過的火柴梗。
This is a story that I always remember from my childhood. I often wish the story could have a happier, better ending, but I guess taht's what makes the story special. I can't help but wonder sometimes why does the Little Match girl HAVE to die? how come there isn't anybody who reach out his/her hand to her? When everyone is enjoying a nice holiday family dinner and looking at the pretty Christmas tree at home, is there any "Little Match Girl" out there in the reality? Perhaps on the street? In the shelter? It is Christmas time again... with all the toys drive, can food drive and charity events nowadays... . I sure hope all children can at least have a nice holiday with joys.
October 24 讓我相信我有能力去改變: fwd articleA teacher’s lesson 老師的一堂課 用愛改變一切!! 很感動的一句話”讓我相信我有能力去改變 Many years ago, Mrs. Thompson stood in front of her 5th grade class and told the children a lie that she loved them all the same. But that was impossible, because there in the front row, a little boy named Teddy Stoddard was so messy and inattentive in class that Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big ”F” at the top of his papers. 許多年前，湯普遜老師對著她五年級的學生們撒了一個謊：她說她會平等地愛每個孩子！但這是不可能的，因為前排就坐著泰迪‧史塔特--一個邋遢、上課不專心的小男孩，事實上，湯普遜老師很喜歡用粗紅筆在泰迪的考卷上畫大大的叉，然後在最上排寫個不及格！ One day, as Mrs. Thompson was reviewing each child’s past records, she was surprised by comments of Teddy’s former teachers: 某一天，湯普遜老師檢視每個學生以前的學習紀錄表，她意外地發現泰迪之前的老師給的評語十分驚人： ”Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around,” wrote Teddy’s first grade teacher. 一年級老師寫道：「泰迪是個聰明的孩子，永遠面帶笑容，他的作業很整潔、很有禮貌，他讓周遭的人很快樂！」 His second grade teacher wrote, ”Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.” 二年級老師說：「泰迪很優秀，很受同學歡迎，但他的母親罹患了絕症，他很擔心，家裡生活一定不好過！」 His third grade teacher wrote, ”His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.” 三年級老師：「母親過世泰迪一定不好過，他很努力表現但父親總不在意，若再沒有改善，他的家庭生活將嚴重打擊泰迪。」 Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, ”Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class.” 四年級老師：「泰迪開始退縮，對課業提不起興趣，沒有什麼朋友，有時會在課堂上睡覺。」 By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy’s. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. 直到現在，湯普遜老師才了解泰迪的困難，而深感羞愧，而當她收到泰迪送的聖誕禮物—別人的禮物用緞帶及包裝紙裝飾的漂漂亮亮，泰迪送的禮物卻是用雜貨店的牛皮紙袋捆起來─湯普遜老師更覺得難過， Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. 湯普遜老師忍著心酸，當著全班的面拆開泰迪的禮物，有的孩子開始嘲笑泰迪送的聖誕禮物：一條假鑽手環，上面還缺了幾顆寶石，另外是一罐只剩四分之一的香水。但是湯普遜老師不但驚呼漂亮，還帶上手環，並噴了一些香水在手腕上，其他小朋友全都愣住了。 Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, ”Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.” After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. 放學後泰迪‧史塔特留下來對湯普遜老師說：「老師，妳今天聞起來好像我媽咪喔！」一等泰迪回家，湯普遜老師整整哭了一個小時，就在那一天，湯普遜老師不再教「書」：不教閱讀、不教寫作、不教數學，相反地，她開始「教育孩童」！ Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one her ”teacher’s pets.” 湯普遜老師開始特別關注泰迪，而泰迪的心似乎重新活了過來，湯普遜老師越鼓勵泰迪，泰迪的反應越快，到了學年尾聲，泰迪已經成為班上最聰明的孩子之一。雖然湯普遜老師說過她會平等地愛每一個孩子，但泰迪卻是她最喜歡的學生。 A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. 一年後，湯普遜老師在門邊發現一張紙條，是泰迪寫來的，上面說湯普遜老師是他一生遇到最棒的老師！六年過去了，湯普遜老師又發現另一張泰迪寫的紙條，泰迪已經高中畢業，成績全班第三名，而湯普遜老師仍是他一生遇到最棒的老師！ Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life. 四年後，湯普遜老師又收到一封信，泰迪說有時候學校生活並不順利，但他仍堅持下去，而不久的將來他將獲得榮譽學位畢業！他再一次告訴湯普遜老師，她仍是他這一輩子遇到最棒的老師！ Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer -- the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D. 四年過去，又來了一封信。信裡面告訴湯普遜老師，泰迪大學畢業後決定繼續攻讀更高學位，他也不忘再說一次，湯普遜老師還是他這一生遇到最棒的老師，而這封信的結尾多了幾個字：「泰迪‧史塔特博士。」 The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. 故事還沒結束呢！你瞧！該年春天又來了一封信，泰迪說他遇到生命中的女孩，馬上要結婚了，泰迪解釋說他的父親幾年前過世了，他希望湯普遜老師可以參加他的婚禮並坐上屬於新郎「母親」的位置，湯普遜老師完成了泰迪的心願。但你知道嗎？湯普遜老師竟然戴著當年泰迪送的假鑽手環，還噴了同一瓶香水，是泰迪母親過世前的最後一個聖誕節用過的香水。 They hugged each, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, ”Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.” 他們互相擁抱，史塔特博士悄悄在耳邊告訴湯普遜老師：「湯普遜老師，謝謝妳相信我，謝謝妳讓我覺得自己很重要，讓我相信我有能力去改變(make a difference)！」 Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, ”Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.” 湯普遜老師熱淚滿盈，告訴泰迪：「泰迪，你錯了！是你教導我、讓我相信我有能力去改變，一直到遇見你，我才知道該怎麼教書！」 October 17 Time for another oneIt is TIME for another child. Tomorrow is the big day for our family... we will have an addition - Timmothy Roland Chen.
Sometimes it is very hard for me to imagine having another kid.. especially another boy. Sometimes I wonder if it is possible to divide up my love for Scott and share with another one. Or perhaps I should look at this way, I am not dividing up my love, but I am growing another share of "love" just for my Timmy.
I want to love them the same regardless.
It is going to be very tough for the first half year .. that's expected. I hope it will be filled with joy, laughters and love. I also hope that Scott will be a great and loving big brother to Timmy.
I can't wait to meet Timmothy...
October 10 how to be supportive from a sister's point of view I love UCSF and in the far far away future after I pay off my loans and work for a while, I want to start/join a non-profit group that goes abroad to provide health care services to third world countries. And I love working with kids!In life, we have to be supportive to our friends, co-workers and family at all times. Everyone has different ways of showing their support to different individuals and matters. Sometimes I find it more difficult to be supportive as a mother or sister compared to being supportive as a friend.
For instance, when my little sister Gloria said she was going on a mission with her Church to China Sichuan (when they JUST had a huge earthquake), I was FURIOUS. I was like HELL NO! NO WAY JOSE! She was very firmed with what she wanted to do and regardless what we said, she was determined to go. Of course she returned in on piece but as a family member, it was VERY hard for me to supportive when she actually wanted to help poor children in the villiage to learn English. It was a GOOD DEED, and I had a hard time being supportive.
I probably will be able to present myself as a very caring and supportive friend when my friend wants to do the same thing.
I was thinking... after all these time for 3 of us supporting her through college, fulfilling all her needs financially and in every aspect (since my parents are both retired, we took the responsbility to support our youngest one in the family)... and she was just one summer away from attending the national TOP pharmacy school UCSF... what if something happened in China while she was on mission? I couldn't think of those people in need first... all I could think of was my own sister's safety.
Back to present days... NOW.. summer was summer... she was back in one piece and very pleased with her trip.... I was just reading her blog last night. I read the following...
"I love UCSF and in the far far away future after I pay off my loans and work for a while, I want to start/join a non-profit group that goes abroad to provide health care services to third world countries. And I love working with kids!"....
I was stunned.
I was like "what" "non-profit"... it's like.. wait a minute... I thought after all these years, it would be great one day that she finally comes out and treats us a nice dinner with her first pay check... share responsbility of taking care of my parents and this family.... and this is what I am waiting for? Someone who is going to work for free and serve in thrid world county? .....
I asked myself ... well, I was the one who chose to put my own dreams aside and make my decisions based on the need of the whole family and the well-beings of all family members... does not mean she just has to do the same? Perhaps not...
Am I just a very selfish human being or what? Why can't I be supportive when my own sister has a great will and ambition to help others? Exactly what is MY PROBLEM?
I just hope I can think this through eventually.
Anyhow, I will be having a baby in a week or so... I should be thinking about how to manage two boys in the household down the road.. not this.
hehe...
July 30 Religion vs FamilyBelieving a religion is often a positive influence in someone's life. It brings people peace, a guideline to follow in life and spiritual growth. So when a family member is devoted to ANY religion (in my case, my family has two different ones), it should be supported. My 3 sisters are all devoted Christian, and my parents are Buddhist. As for me, most of you know, I am a Buddhist as well.
It is totally NOT a matter of WHICH religion is better or which religion I support better. When I really need my family to be there for me, I will not feel less disappointed if it's my parents who can't be there for "religious reasons". I feel the same, as disappointed as I can be. When my family shared their joys with me in regards to their religious activities and growth, I feel the same, as happy as I can be for them regardless if it's my sisters or my parents.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder... are they put in a position where they have to choose between the family and the religion? If they are, is there something wrong with the nature of the religious practice? I thought most religions would say "family should come first always"?
I remember when I was hospitalized, and I really needed someone there because my husband seriously needed a break from the hospital to sleep. I called my family for support but mommy first turned it down because she has a class to go. At that moment, I honestly had doubt toward what does it really mean for someone to practice and believe in a religion. I was disappointed. I was a little hurt. (note: she showed up later because I told her that in this case, I might need her more than the people in the class, and my father was on my side)
I remember there were many incidents where I invite or ask my family members to be there for whatever reasons; church is somewhat always the reason why they can't make it. It's almost like being in church is more important than spending time with grandparents who we don't see on regular basis... which means... loved ones we will not see again probably until their funeral. (note: it is just an extreme cases, most of the time, it is nothing big like spending time with grandparents)
I hate pessimistic blogs... so I will not write one. I have to say, most of the time, my family has been very very supportive with everything... and they all treat my new family nicely especially my little Scottie. He is very lucky to have 3 aunties who love him dearly and would be there for him no matter what. I still want to end the blog on a positive note though... the point is that I think regardless of the religion, I don't think people should never be put in the position where they have to choose between their family and any type of religious events.... or I can be wrong for not being understanding enough in regards to the need of someone putting religious events on the top of the list... see, here is the thing, I think attending religious events and practicing a religion is TWO totally different things. Don't you think? Practicing a religion should not be all about being somewhere at certain specific time.. i should be something someone does at all times with their heart and soul.
July 11 My old time favorite song
4 NOs for a happy marriage
|
|||||||||||
|
|
