Dear Mom

 

Happy 60th birthday!

 

You are really the one of the kind type of mom.

 

Thanks for letting me eat as much junk food as I wished through out my teen years.

Thanks for ignoring all my dramas through out my childhood so I can move on with life.

Thanks for washing my clothes for years after years

Thanks for cooking my food for years after years...

Thanks for doing my homework for me once a while when I was really tired...

Thanks for altering my pants and dresses for me..

Thanks for walking me through motherhood...

Thanks for being my math teacher through out my entire student career...

 

You are one of the few women I know who NEVER put any make up on the face...

You are one of the few women I know how NEVER really cares how her hair looks...

You are one of the few women I know who does not nag her husband

You are one of the few women I know who does not nag her daughter(s)

You are one of the few women I know who does not buy new clothes ever

You are one of the few women I know who never cares for even ONE nice purse in life

 

You are awesome

 

Happy birthday to you

 

 

Does everyone get to find the person in life who will stand by your side no matter what happened?  Besides family, what is the odd to find the special kind of friendship?  What's the odd to find the true love who will not leave your side NO MATTER what happend?

 

It is probably more likely to have a friend or two who you can really trust, rely on and present through your good times and bad times. 

 

One can spend the whole love and never will meet person who will be there with you no matter what. 

 

Spouses don't always stick around when life is tough... Spouses don't always stick around when the other misbehave.. Spouses sometimes just simply have a change of heart and leave the other one heart-broken.  Divorce is as common as people having a broken car... as common as a common cold.. as common as losing money from gambling...

 

It often breaks my heart to see how one leaves because of he/she is unable to get through the tough times with the other.  When life is not easy and comfortable, one finds another way out . 

 

I have seen enough in the past 30 something years. 

 

I knew many men who betrayed their family and find someone else on the side.

 

I knew someone who left his girl-friend when her family become poor and he could no longer hang around the big nice house. 

 

I knew someone who left his girl-friend after weighing his own saftey into account and finding an easy way out without troubles.

 

I knew many individuals who are controlled by their rich parents and choose to give up love and rather be a heart-breaker but keeping the source of money. 

 

I knew women who left their husbands when they lost their job and got no money in the bank account. 

 

I knew many individuals who changed his/her attitude toward another once he/ she found out there is no possible future down the road.  It is scary how one can stop treating the other with love but coldness...

 

If life is always smooth and comfortable, it is possible that one will never find a chance to know how your special someone will react during the course of "crsis"... Is that considered as being lucky to never find out?  Is that considered as being lucky to encounter an opportunity to find out what's lying underneath? 

 

I wish I never have to find out what's lying underneath...

 

Sometimes it is too scary to be given a task with unknown outcome... people are just not predictable in the course of criss in life. 

 

However, I pity those ones who never takes challenges and refuses to confront any road block in the journey of loving another person... on the road of pursuing happiness.  It often breaks my heart to see things like that happened. 

 

I suppose I am writing it for how my unfortunate prediction of dark human nature came true again.  It saddens me.  I often wish I am WRONG...  I believe two people who are in love should stick together no matter what and confront the challenges ahead to make it happen.

 

I wouldn't be where I am today if I gave up on believing in love.  I wouldn't be holding my two cutie pies in my arm. 

 

 

 

It is very difficult for me to start writing this whole thing... and there will be no conclusion, no ending and no closure for it.

 

It probably started as a beautiful romance between two teens who did not know better what's real love and what's right and wrong.  Then what happened?  There are probably a lot of beautiful and sweet romances among young folks which lead to many different endings... good and bad.. sad and happy... even life and death. 

 

Something happened to someone that I am really really close to and it really shocked me.  It makes me feel angry, sad, sympathetic, disappointed, hopeless, scared and stressed out.  It is very difficult to believe how someone who is almost like a family member can turn around and become a brutal killer type of person.  This person can turn around and harm your family when he was once treated as part of the family.

 

Of course he can not take all the blames.  There is always causes which lead to the consequences.  Relationship karma can result into threat, hatred, tragedies or even death sometimes.  Not everyone can live and look at things with optimistic, forgiving, understanding and kind heart.  Not everyone can take time to reflect upon the past, the causes and appreciate all the good things instead of the bad.  Not everyone has something to believe in, someone to support her/him unconditionally, a family with lots of love, a life with purposes and goals and most importantly a childhood with proper parenting and role modeling.  People make mistakes and extend their mistakes to their offsprings... people make mistakes and have their loved ones suffered from it. 

 

There is always another way out with everything in this world.  One can push himself/ herself to the dead end and suffer for the rest of his/her life.  One can turn around and look on the bright side, then perhaps move on to a better or worse life. 

 

Who wasn't once treated unfairly?  Who wasn't once cheated by someone she/ he cared for?  Who wasn't once heart-broken?  Who wasn't once lost his/her mind and did irrational things?  Who wasn't once loved or not loved? 

 

It is sad to see how one can end up in the deepest black hole, the worst place in this world.  It is sad to think the pain that he must have gone through.  At the same time, it is only fair to obey and go by the justice system of the norm.  it is only fair that everyone should have the right to be protected from harm and fear.  It is only fair for the one who does harms to others to be punished. 

 

I can't help it but feeling extremely sad. 

 

I can't help but wishing things could have been handled differently and peacefully.  I can't help but wishing that everyone can be happy and fear free.  I can't help but wishing that we can go back to the first chapter of the book and rewrite the whole story all over again. 

 

You can only pray and pray and pray... oh yeah, is that all we can do?  Will that really make things better?  How can God or Budda reach the darkest side of the human nature? Sometimes I feel that they are often approached and felt by the good  people instead of the other way around...  When it was already the way it is since day 1... when it had always been in the dark without any blessing and prayers...   And Yes, we need to always have faith right?  And yes, we need to believe that the tomorrow will always be better when we wake up with our faith in whichever supeior being that one chooses to believe in? 

 

I sincerely hope his suffering end inside his heart.  I hope he can forget about all the hatred and forgive.  I hope he can move on with his life and find his true happiness one day in the future. 

 

This whole passage might make no sense to you, but it is okay.